Paralysis by Analysis

Do you know the adage: “When you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all.”? I am consciously practicing this. Sometimes there are lapses pero most of the time talaga naman pinid na lang ng bibig rather than comment. I try to do it pag mga little things that doesn’t matter naman ang mga usapan. Pero pag big things na, then I can’t help but spew really bad garbage. I swear minsan kahit ako gusto ko na busalan ang sarili kong bibig. Sana I can learn to just mentally and verbally say “No comment.”

I also hope that others would do this too. I have this friend who we’d call “Nega” na whenever you tell a story, di ka pa tapos, meron na agad syang negative comebacks or negative comments. For example, you tell Nega, “You know this gorgeous guy that I saw in this show, blah, blah, blah…” and then Nega would suddenly say “Ay, yun? He has really nasty breath and nasty yadda,yadda,yadda…” and the list goes on and on. So, I have no recourse but to just shut-up and not continue with the story. Kasi what’s the point? Wala na naman sense eh.

There’s this other friend naman na always on “up-at-arms” mode. We’ll call this friend “Shaun”. Every time you say something, si Shaun may comeback na agad na pa-bark. With matching voice inflection and taas pa ng kilay yan. Minsan ang hirap nang magsalita kasi alam mo naman na babarahin ka lang.

You might ask why they’re still my friends. Kasi Nega and Shaun didn’t used to be that way. Nega used to be so sweet and so open to kwentos. That’s one of the things I liked about Nega. Sobrang ganda ng mga bonding moments namin. Si Shaun naman has been a person who I used to tell everybody has a “good soul”. Shaun is always on the search to self improvement and always looks at the good things in life. Either sa personality ng isang tao, or sa situations. I used to love talking to Shaun about everything kasi Shaun makes me think. Ngayon, whenever I talk to either Nega or Shaun, napapapagod ako.

I know I’m really loud and sobrang brusko magsalita and gumalaw, so I wonder tuloy kung katulad din nila ako. You know… birds of the same feathers and all that sh*t. I really need to delve into this more. Baka mamaya, the same stuff that gets to me kanila Nega and Shaun, ganun din pala sa akin.

I told a friend these and he said maybe Nega and Shaun has been jaded in life na raw. I wonder if that’s it. Maybe they’re getting tired and can’t see the good things already. Maybe so many bad things are happening and they got tired of looking for the silver lining. ‘Coz eventually, they get disappointed. Is that it?

If yes, then I need to refocus. I don’t like people mentally and physically getting tired when they talk to me. I hope I never get jaded by life. I’d always like to believe there’s good in people, there’s a positive in every situation and that eventually, if you just work hard enough, things would turn out alright.

AMEN.