It's the End of World

Ok, I went on introspective mode halfway through my “me” time. Took the Lenten season to de-stress. I’m having the shortest vacation weekend of my 1st quarter of 2008. It’s funny what a quote can do for your mind and not to say your mood.

I was reading through my Stewie’s blog and came upon this little gem:

“Life is a series of departures and arrivals”. So apropos. Life has been good to me this year. There were a few bumps and bruises due to me not getting what I want, but I’ll chalk that all up to bratty-ness. I departed from my mental state of continuous disappointment last year and arrived at the state of mind that I can honestly say makes me happy. I am generally a happy person. But thinking back on Q1 of 2007, it was all so screwed up and confusing that I am counting my blessings this year.

What is this insight going to do for me? In adult learning, to get the buy-in of participants you would have to base the delivery and methodology by preparing to answer the most basic of question when composing your catch phrases. The question is: WIFM. What’s in it for me?

If I’m going for the macro level I would say that I am now arriving at the time that decisions have to be made that would change the life I lead. Nothing drastic. But if I’m going to base it on one Trainer’s Kabala reference, everything that happens in the future is based on decisions made in the past. Makes sense. But he goes one-off and says his belief is, once the die is cast, there’s no turning back. Not that I believe in that crock-a-shit. I was never a fan of “Pre-destiny”. But it does make you think.

Life has been a series of misadventures that in retrospect I am a bit embarrassed. I have arrived to this conclusion after reading my offline journal. (Yes, the one that’s hand written and would burn the instant I die.) I have been the brunt of all good things and I think I wasted so many opportunities in my 30 years of existence. One glaring excuse is my habit of being afraid to commit. It stems from thinking there might be something better around the corner. Now, I’m at the corner. And believe me, there is nothing better.

Now I am thinking of taking a plunge into the abyss. I am now telling myself to commit. Commit to take risks and make mistakes that I have consciously put on my path of self-realization. On a micro level, a start to this resolution would be to decide what things need to be done at this moment. I am not going to enumerate it for your viewing pleasure but I am listing it down in my mind.

One thing’s for sure. I am now taking over my life. I will no longer be a victim of misconceptions, miscalculations and misadventures. I am now mistress of my destiny. Trite, but true. And if I make mistakes along the way, I am going to change my delivery. I am not going to be a slave to pre-destiny. What’s in it for me? No more late nights (or in my case early morning) deliberation with myself. No more what ifs. No more needing “me” time to think about where my life is going. I’m taking the bull by its horns and plowing through the crowd.

Ok, now done with that…. On to other things. I was browsing through my friends’ blogs that I haven’t really had time to look at these days. Gawd, some of them got maudlin in old age. It’s all doom and gloom. Or worse, it's full of platitudes. What happened? It’s like mid-life-crisis-meets-quarter-life-crisis-and-i-want-to-kill-myself-now entries. I know were all supposed to mature as we grow older, but it was never written anywhere that we needed to let go of our fun side. I know we all have bigger responsibilities now, but it was never stated that we needed to sermonize our way to meeting it. It’s just plain mind boggling and disturbing. These are the folks who used to know and say that we can take on and solve anything that are thrown at us. (With panache and while wearing high heels too.) It’s sad.

Anyhow, that’s it for the meantime, have a happy Easter Sunday everyone. May you and your family be blessed!