A Day in the Life of a Government Agency

My Feeling for the Whole Day in a Nutshell

I went to NBI (National Bureau of Investigation) the first day of the week to get my clearance form. I needed it for some legal things that I need to fix. So off I went. I had my nephew accompany me since I'm already anticipating the long lines and long wait. What if I needed to pee? Who would watch my place in the long line?

Anyway, we got to Carriedo around 6:15 in the morning. Yup, I was that prepared. First encounter? THE GUARD. He started by rudely telling me that my nephew couldn't come in because he was wearing a pair of shorts and his slippers. Fine. That’s alright. I immediately thought of buying him jeans since we were already in Sta. Cruz and he really needed a pair. But when THE GUARD started to get rude about it, I decided I had enough of his arrogance. I started retaliating back. “Pano kung mahirap ang kukuha ng NBI? Walang pambili ng sapatos?” He started saying in a louder voice, “Opisina ito! Alam mo naman opisina ito!” I went in front of his face and said in my bitchiest tone, “GOBYERNO ITO, HINDI PRIVATE, WAG KANG MAARTE.” Then I did the best exit I can under the circumstances. Now fuming mad my nephew and I walked around to look for jeans. (It was too early for the stores to be open) when we finally found a store, I bought him a Php 280 pair. (It was cute and cheap. What more could I want?) Then we went back.

ME: “Naka-maong na.” (Still Bitchy)
GUARD: “Tsinelas… tsinelas…”
ME: (Taas-noo, at kung may kilay, taas na rin) “MAS MAHAL PA ANG TSINALES NA YAN KESA SAYO.”

I dared him to retaliate to that. But of course he couldn’t. He let us pass. The thing that pissed me the most was when we got upstairs, I saw at least 2 guys wearing shorts and slippers. (And I want it put into record that I was also wearing rubber slippers. When I pointed this out to THE GUARD, he said “Babae ka eh.” WTF?! Screwed logic.)

When we got to the place where the looongggg line was, the only thing that amused me was that at the entrance there were a lot of guys asking if we wanted the NBI Clearance to be rushed. Ahhh… here are the “fixers”! But I was ready for the long lines so, I didn’t want a fixer. So, we trudged on. The line was ok. It was organized. The only think I question is: What’s the Php 20.00 for? Why is there a fee to get inside the office? Oh well… Somebody hands me a form and I was suddenly inside. (My nephew chose to wait in the waiting area)

Here are the Steps:

1.Pay Php 115 Processing Fee
2.Data Checking
3.Quick Search
4.Photo Taking
5.Finger Printing
6.Authentication (?)
7.Releasing

Pretty straight forward right? NOT FOR A GOVERNMENT AGENCY IT’S NOT.

Can I just say before I start that loud booming voices seem to be a pre-requisite for the job of an NBI personnel. (Along with a permanent scowl and a potbelly) And it has to be used in an intimidating way. Always.

1. There were two ways to pay. If you have the exact amount you can go to the automated teller or go to the counter where a real person can assist you. I couldn’t find my wallet and don’t have change so I went to the counter. The lady very rudely told me to get away from the counter because she is not yet open for business. Oooookkkk…. I back away and rummage for my wallet. Voila! Found it. I went to the automated machine. Paid and on to the 4th floor for Step 2

2. Step 2. Data check. First off, there was no one there. There were a lot of counters but there wasn’t anybody behind them. Step 3 had about 5 counters occupied, but I have to pass through step 2 before 3 right? Hmmm… took me 15 minutes to remember it was only 7:30AM. The office wasn’t officially open yet. I line up. Then a lady went out and started processing the check. I’d like to commend her because it was only 7:45AM. She was quick. I handed her my filled out form and my receipt for the “entrance” fee. She asked for an ID. She put red notations. She put SSS ID: Original; and the receipt number. Then she handed the form back to me. The whole time she didn’t smile, or even acknowledged me by looking up. Again, oooookkkk…. I was done with Step 2.

3. Step 3, Quick Search. Let me tell you this… there was nothing quick about it. First, the 5 ladies waiting behind the counters were still chatting… ok… it’s not yet 8:00AM. The place was slowly filling up. At exactly 8:05 AM they sat down and turned on their computers. For about 30 minutes there was a flurry of activity signifying panic. I asked one of the pot bellied men. He said there was a computer malfunction. Hmmm…. Place was packed by that time. And it was 8:45AM. We waited and waited. When the computers started functioning again, I saw a lot more pot bellied men telling us where to line up again. (In their loud, booming, intimidating voice) I was serviced by 9:00AM. But before I got to the front of the counter, I saw a lot of those men handing forms to the ladies in the counter. I noticed they were hovering and waiting. Then they would be handed the form, disappear and appear again after a few minutes. I finally figured it out. These were the cohorts of the “fixers” downstairs. These were the folks who can “rush” the process. Great. When I finally got to the counter the lady refused to sign it. Lady in Step 2 forgot to sign the damn thing. I marched back to the Step 2 counter and had her sign it. She used her trusty red pen and marked a "C" that looked like a half-moon. That's the signature I went back for? I didn't line up again. I just went directly to Step 3 lady and handed her my form. She puts a sticker with barcodes, then preceded to ignore me. *Sigh*

4. On to step 4. My picture will never see the light of day. I was so pissed by that time that I found it hard to smile. It took 5 minutes. The fastest step so far. I will keep that clearance under lock and key. And tear it up to little pieces when the 1 year validity expires.

5. 5th floor. Finger Printing. There were 3 desks occupied. The man unceremoniously grabbed my hand. Slammed it on the table with the ink. And proceeded to maul my fingers one by one. I finally had to tell him not to turn my hand black and blue because I’m attached to its uses. He grunts, finishes up and mumbles, “two pesos”. I paid, he slapped a wet tissue scrap on my hands and I’m done.

6. Next. Authentication or something. They pulled the form from my armpits, (I was still trying to wipe away the black ink) and told me (again with the grudging voice, like they have something better to do and you’re disturbing them) “RELEASING!” I hold on to my temper. Just one more step…Just one more step.

7. RELEASING! I handed over the automated receipt and they printed the damn thing! FINALLY! I was gonna be set free. It was 10:00AM.

Before I escaped though I had to go through a last desk where the guy tried to maul my thumbs again. Then I was out the door. FREEDOM!

All in all, it was typical of all the horror stories I hear about government agencies. Rude people, bureaucrats, red tape, and corruption. And I was only there for 3hours and 45 minutes! I felt like killing somebody.

You'd think that with the amount of tax they deduct every payday, (and not seeing the grand infrastructures and great technology that was in the last SONA) I felt we can at least get this through better customer service. We are the ones who pays their salaries anyway. (And obviously line their pockets) But I was wrong.

When a simple break in courtesies and service occur on a daily basis. And there are no checks to alleviate it, it festers and becomes a problem. Most of the folks in line with me yesterday were people needing their clearance to get passports. I heard a good number of Filipinos saying "Buti na lang aalis na ako. Wala talaga akong mahihita dito." And I know the NBI is just a small part of a bigger industry. The government industry. Is our system so screwed up that our citizens would rather leave then make it here? Well, one thing’s for sure, It will take me another 5 years to get another NBI clearance. I am not a masochist. I do not want to inflict my own headaches.

At the end of the ordeal, I finally figured out what the Php 20.00 was for. It was to see the zoo of animals inside the glass cage called the NBI Clearance Center. It was definitely a sight to see.